More on Timmeh

I've now read several versions of what dear, sweet Cardinal Dolan said about gays on Easter Sunday. The man doesn't seem to be mentally or emotionally equipped for his job. That's my take on the situation.

Here's a lovely passage from Think Progress' account of the exchange. After reporting what Timmy said (we can be "friends" but must never ever allow our genitals to touch; thanks, Timmy!) they note the following:

After lobbying against New York’s marriage equality law, Dolan prohibited by decree any Church personnel or property from being utilized for same-sex marriage ceremonies under penalty of “canonical sanctions,” calling the state’s law “irreconcilable with the nature and the definition of marriage as established by Divine law.” He has also compared the “threat” posed to marriage by gays and lesbians to that of polygamy, adultery, forced marriage, communist dictatorships, and incest. [Note: the actual text has many links, for those who wish to document his inhumane statements.]

Let's focus on the section I bolded above. Exactly when and where did Jesus mention "the nature and the definition of marriage as established by Divine Law"? Ahem. I'm waiting. Jesus never said one goddamn thing about this. Timmy Dolan is just damaged goods.

It would be heavenly if the pope countered this nonsense. I wonder what Timmy would say then? He's the original suck-up-to-power guy. It would truly be fun to hear his tortured words, if this ever came to pass.

But we must remember that Argentina's gays hated Bergoglio, who morphed into Popeyguy Francis. So perhaps this is a pipe dream. It's a lovely one, though.

Dolan says nothing

Joe.My.God has the full rundown on a great question asked of dear, sweet, anti-gay Cardinal Dolan. I won't steal Joe's thunder. Anyway, you really have to read it for yourself. Oy.

Timmy seems to suspect that a more moral pope is in charge now. Let's hope that's the case. If the church backs off its anti-gay rhetoric, I might even stop making fun of these boobs.

Nah, it would still be a religion based on a non-existent god. But I might not make it so personal. And by that, I mean I might not hurl boiling oil at them, day after day, as they've done toward gay people.

Time will tell.

Easter ushers in the new baseball season

Today we celebrate Easter, the day that signifies the resurrection of the baseball season. As the Easter bunny always says, "Rejoice! Baseball has climbed out of its sepulchre. It lives!"

But of course, we can't forget the simple joy that Easter brings to children. Every child -- rich or poor -- knows that on Easter morning, he or she will wake up to a fresh basket of bats made of peanuts and white chocolate. And then later in the day, they will experience the joy of trying to find the chocolate baseballs hidden in their yards by local baseball coaches.

So if you see a child sitting in a yard today, eating a tasty baseball bat and dreaming of the coming season, give the kid a high five and tell him your favorite team.

Because this is the real meaning of Easter: play ball!!!

Fake shroud marches on

VATICAN CITY (AP) — The Shroud of Turin has gone on display for a special TV appearance amid new research purporting to date the linen some say was Jesus' burial cloth to around the time of his death. 

Jeebus. A "special TV appearance" by the Shroud! It almost makes you wonder if the Shroud has an agent (Scott Boras, perhaps). Even the new popeyguy sent a message to the Shroud's fans. Alas, he didn't say what they wanted to hear.

The Vatican has tiptoed around just what the cloth is, calling it a powerful symbol of Christ's suffering while making no claim to its authenticity. 

Francis toed that line Saturday, calling the cloth an "icon" — not a relic.

Many experts stand by carbon-dating of scraps of the cloth that date it to the 13th or 14th century. 

Ahem. Repeat after me: sideshow attraction. There you go!

As the world churns

This week many nations are posturing with their testosterone-laden fleets and planes and bombs -- solely to impress scare each other. Now, where have I seen this act before? I mean, it's so damn familiar. Oh, I remember. It's what all braindead, piggish males do on every street corner in America, every day. Gotta let that testosterone rage. Gotta.

Our government loves war. Just can't get enough of it. This worries me because I tend to see where it's all going, and it's not a good place.

If all the Arab Spring countries end up as unthinking, Muslim-controlled hotbeds of hatred, I think I know what the US will do. It will nuke the entire area off the planet. Problem solved, in their over-amped, testosterone-soaked brains. (Though maybe they'll try to develop a DNA-controlled death-switch that affects only those with Arab, Persian, etc. genes. Uh-huh. Like this won't get out of control. Ha.)

I could see this end-play happening in real life. And that's scary. Our ability to kill each other grows exponentially with the passage of time. And testosterone-heads won't be able to resist pulling the trigger.

The world that comes after that will be unrecognizable. And something tells me it will be controlled by religious crazies of the American kind. The American Taliban will finally have its day. I don't want to be around for that.

Francis is being interesting. Again.

Another take on the famous foot-washing, this time as viewed by Benedict's crowd.

Virtually everything he has done since being elected pope, every gesture, every decision, has rankled traditionalists in one way or another. 

Right there, you have to like the guy. He's definitely going to liven things by trying to bring, you know, Christ back into the church. I loved his washing the feet of the juvenile offenders. In this simple action, there was a promising hint of his plans. Read the following and tell me there's still no possibility that women will become priests.

The church's liturgical law holds that only men can participate in the rite, given that Jesus' apostles were all male. Priests and bishops have routinely petitioned for exemptions to include women, but the law is clear. 

The words I bolded are regularly cited when rejecting the concept of women priests: Jesus' apostles were all male. Perhaps Francis sees this issue in a new light. It would be wonderful if he ended the all-male priesthood (and allowed priests to marry).

I've always had a notion that if the priests got a little (normal, adult, consensual) nookie on the side, they'd lay off the anti-gay theatrics. So who knows what the future will bring? Mind you, if he follows through on any of this, the church will become stronger. But a church like that I might be able to live with. And so might a lot of Catholics.

Hope for Catholic women

It looks like Pope Francis may be open to the concept of women as real, full-fledged people.

In his most significant break with tradition yet, Pope Francis washed and kissed the feet of two young women at a juvenile detention center — a surprising departure from church rules that restrict the Holy Thursday ritual to men. 

I like the sound of that. I'm sure a lot of Catholic women are experiencing hope right now. This popeyguy had better come through.

But I keep wondering if this pope's first few days on the job are similar to Obama's campaign speeches -- without substance, in other words. I hope not. Much as I detest this church for its wanton attacks on gays, I know there are many people who believe in this church's god. For their sake, and most especially for the sake of women, I hope this popeyguy is open to honest, real participation by women in the church.

(Hey, what can I say? I've got a few friends who are nuns. They're nice people and they could use some respect, especially after the popeyguy emeritus tossed them out like so much garbage.)