Too friendly

In the city (i.e., Manhattan), we called areas like the one where I now live, "the country". Here in the country, people are different. For instance, in the city we rarely say hello to anyone on the street. A nod, perhaps. But that's about it (and only if pressed).

But here in the country, everyone is hello-mad. People are always waving at you and trying to slip you a hello. They do it from cars; they do it while walking along the street; they do it from their yards. I do not like this. Mind you, this wasn't a problem when I never went outside. But now that I've begun to walk through the area for health reasons, I can't escape these people. Horrors!

What I do is act like I'm blind. They can wave at me all they want; I don't notice. But on those rare occasions when someone is walking directly toward me and will pass within inches, slyly slipping me a hello, I use another technique.

I've mentioned on the blog that I often wear white cotton gloves. They look fabulous on a 6'5" guy. When I walk, I wear the gloves but keep my hands in my pockets because of the cold. But when someone accosts me up-close with an unwanted hello, I take a white-gloved hand out and wave at them in my strangest, Mickey Mouse manner, waggling the fingers madly and adding an over-the-top smile to the mix.

I hope this will stop these people from saying anything further to me. Walking is a lone enterprise and I want to keep it that way. Am I a curmudgeon? Of course. If you didn't already know that, you must be new here.

Okay, I'm gonna put on my protective white gloves and go for a nice, lonely walk. And everybody better keep away from me!