As tornadoes rock the US, Germany is drowning

Climate change is happening everywhere, not just in the U.S. This season, Germany is learning that it is not immune. After the "darkest winter in decades", the rain arrived.

April showers have only been followed by more showers in May, when 178 percent more rain fell than the year before, according to estimates of Germany's National Meteorological Service (DWD). What's worse, the DWD says that -- except for in a lucky few parts of northwestern Germany -- Mother Nature has no plans to turn off the spigots anytime soon.

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Similar flooding has been seen in many other German locations, where waters are filling basements, trapping inhabitants, closing small and major roads, and felling trees. "The weakened earth can no longer hold tree roots," said one police spokesman, adding that the rains have caused several landslides that blocked streets.

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In fact, the DWD says that, from Germany's northern coastlines to the Alps, the earth is wetter than it has been in 50 years. This broad swath of muddy soil is causing major problems for the agricultural industry, the DWD reports, making it impossible to drive on 40 percent of fields, use machinery or spray against pests, diseases, molds or weeds.

Vegetable growers are getting the worst of it. In some fields of Lower Saxony, the water almost completely hides the raised rows of dirt in which the country's beloved asparagus is grown. The waters could also severely damage the upcoming harvest of early potatoes. "Even if they haven't already rotted in the ground, now you can't harvest them," said a DWD spokesman.

Imagine what's that like for these farmers. They're experiencing the opposite of what farmers in the dryest sections of the United States are seeing. And yet the world still can't unite to do something about climate change. When governments finally wake up, it will be far too late. Meanwhile, with every day that passes, the weather will become more extreme.

But no worries. Just go shopping and forget all about it! Sorry for interrupting your beautiful day.

Steroids, baseball and players who can't hit

During a Mets telecast last week, Keith Hernandez brought something up. The strike-out rate for baseball players in the last nine months of play has been higher than at any time in baseball's history. Not in the last five or ten years -- in the entire history of Major League Baseball. This is a stark statistic.

A more basic way of putting it is that no professional baseball player can hit a baseball these days. That's the thing everyone's been noticing. You see guys this season who have incredibly low hitting averages. And these aren't minor players; many are traditionally good hitters. Yet this year, they can't get above the "Mendoza Line", which is .200. If you're not a fan and don't understand hitting averages, a .200 batting average means you hit the ball safely once in every five at-bats. That's not good -- and guys are hitting below that.

Hernandez rightly attributes this to steroids, or rather the current lack of steroids in baseball. He said it was highly suspicious that everyone's batting average dropped right after baseball honed in on steroid use among players. But there's more to the story.

I suspect Keith hasn't done steroids himself, so his knowledge of their use is superficial. I took tons of steroids when I was a bodybuilder, so I know all about this stuff. The thing people don't grasp is that there's more to steroids than a bigger, more muscular body. There are after-effects.

Once you stop using steroids -- as the MLB players are now finding out -- you're much weaker than you were before using them. I don't know why this isn't talked about. It's true, take it from me. I went from super-powerful on steroids to very, very weak when I got off them. And this post-steroid weakness lasts. My strength never recovered, no matter how much I worked out. My strong days were over.

So to me, it's understandable that no one can hit now. Without the additional punch that steroids provide, the players can't even muster the strength they had before they used steroids. And as a result of this catastrophic loss of strength, some can't even make it to the Mendoza line.

It's the lack of steroids and the lasting effect of having been on them that is plaguing baseball players now. And I've got news for these downtrodden players: it won't get better. The effect is permanent. Teams will have to be replace these guys with players who are steroid virgins. Mark my words.

Supreme Court issues un-American decision

WASHINGTON — A divided Supreme Court says police can legally take DNA without a warrant from those arrested in hopes of using it to solve old cases. 

It's not shocking that the current, foolish crew of Supreme Court justices would issue such an un-American decision. The founding fathers would be horrified.

Understand that this applies to people who are merely arrested. This means the police will arrest every person of color they see, just so they can enter the person's DNA into the system. This is not the sort of thing the United States should stand for, never mind instill into law. Yet these strange, elected creatures think it's fine. 

For interest's sake, note how the issue was viewed by our stalwart swing voter -- the man who is America's last hope against rule by the gibbering mob:

Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the Supreme Court, called DNA cheek swabs "a legitimate police booking procedure" like fingerprinting or photographing.

Long ago, the world admired the United States Supreme Court. That is no longer the case.

What kind of sex is Vatican-approved?

Yesterday, I quoted a twit priest who mentioned the "authentic truth about human sexuality". So, what kind of sex does the church consider "authentic"?

I mean, think about it. What type of sex gets the church's approval? They seem to be fanboys of the sex that occurs between male husband and female wife in a marriage -- as long as the couple avoids all the fun sinful positions while doing the deed. This kind of sex is not only great, it's holy!

And, judging by their actions rather than their words, we must infer that the church has no problem with the sex that priests force on children. If memory serves me correctly, it wasn't the priests, bishops and popes who railed against this common practice. It was outsiders who were horrified by priests raping kids, and brought the abuse to the attention of the media.  So I guess the church is fine with that kind of sex, too. It must be "authentic".

The characteristic that these two instances of "authentic" sex share is that the sex is viewed (by priests) as "forced". After all, no "good woman" enjoys marital sex. The husband forces it on the wife and it's her duty to comply with his illustrious, husbandly wishes. No fun, no foul. (And never you mind if the men enjoy it; that's what men do: they enjoy. It's their god-given right as menfolk!)

But in a gay marriage, neither partner is forced to have sex with a more powerful partner. The power issue is very important. If a man doesn't get to lord it over a less powerful creature, it's not god-approved.

Gay marriage, by definition, involves equality. And in the eyes of the church, people who are equal can't have "authentic" sex. Only the sex a man forces on his wife (or a priest forces on a child) is godly, good and above all else, authentic. If neither partner honors god by forcing sex on the other, how can the relationship be holy? Given these parameters, gay marriage will always be a sham. So say the priests.

I think this idea has wings. It's all about the forcing. What do you think? Does this argument ring true for you?

Some religions aren't hateful

LOS ANGELES — The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America has elected to a six-year term the denomination's first openly gay bishop.

And it gets better:

Officials say the "partnered gay man" is also the first Native American to be elected. Erwin is part Osage Indian. 

Catholic church, take note. Religion doesn't automatically include hatred of gays. Imagine that!

Catholics, Baptists and Boy Scouts, oh my!

There's an article at CNN about Baptist churches that are planning a mass "exodus" from the Boy Scouts of America, now that BSA has decided to treat gay kids fairly. Can't have that, no siree.

But the article also veers into other religions. Although the Catholic church seems to have no problem with the change (after all, they've got a ton of gay kids in their schools, and they only hate gay adults), some hateful Catholic priests do plan to join the exodus.

“I do not feel that it is possible for us to live out, and to teach, the authentic truth about human sexuality within the confines of the Boy Scout’s new policy,” said Lapp,  a pompous Catholic priest.

You really have to wonder how celibate priests got such a tight handle on the "authentic truth about human sexuality". But the biggest wingnut in the anti-gay Catholic Scouts movement is John Stemberger. The article wouldn't be complete without mentioning him.

John Stemberger, founder of On My Honor, a group that opposed the Scouts’ change in policy, plans to convene conservatives in Louisville, Kentucky, in June to consider forming a new Scout-like group, which could be up and running by the end of 2013.

I can just imagine the uniforms they'll design for these straights-only scout troops. I figure they'll have a big, golden cross on the front, and an American flag sewn into the back of the shirt. It reminds me of that famous quote by Sinclair Lewis:

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."

Stemberger exemplifies this fascism perfectly. Perhaps he'll head the new organization and institute a Hitler salute for the scouts. Seriously, I cannot wait to see the uniforms for this newly minted Christian scouting organization. And hey, there may be major changes, too. Like maybe they'll camp out in churches -- you know, to avoid floods and predators. It'll be a whole new kind of scouting. Huzzah!

The article gives some hint of what these new scouting organizations might look like. Baptists already have an in-house organization for boys. It's called the Royal Ambassadors. A quote from one of their religious loons describes what it's like for the boys in the organization.

“We really have an opportunity here to strengthen our RA programs,” the Rev. Ernest Easley, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Executive Committee, said in a sermon last Sunday, “and to get the boys in a program where they’re going to be protected, where there’s a high moral standard and where they will have an opportunity to learn about camping, missions, evangelism in the local church.”

Sure sounds like fun, huh? You have to pity these kids.

Gay marriage triumphs despite church efforts

There's an article at the NYT today about the grand failure of the Roman Catholic church's efforts to stop gay marriage in the United States.

(BTW, I think the most amazing thing is that, to date, Catholic leaders haven't been able to provide one rational reason for their hatred of gays. This two-page article, although it quotes hateful priests left and right, provides no further understanding about the church's motivation. As far as the rational world is concerned, the church's effort to stalk and harm every gay person it encounters is based on simple meanness. It's wild that this is the case. Their nonexistent "loving god" apparently supports this behavior!)

There are a many gems in the article. Here are a few:

Providence Bishop Thomas J. Tobin warned Rhode Island lawmakers: "It is only with grave risk to our spiritual well-being and the common good of our society that we dare to redefine what God himself has created." The Legislature overwhelmingly voted days later to support same-sex marriage. 

[T]he archbishop of San Francisco, Salvatore Cordileone, likened gay marriage to male breastfeeding...

Silk suggested that some Catholic leaders in the United States may be eroding their influence by "jumping up and down" to fight gay marriage despite strong public support. 

62 percent of American Catholics think same-sex marriages should be legal.

The thrust of the article is positive: despite the hatred that priests express for gay marriage, equality is winning the battle in legal chambers nation-wide. It's kinda fun. Take that, jeebus!