They say His Eminence, Cardinal Timothy Dolan can’t touch the Host
anymore because he’s become so evil. If he touches one, there is a
hissing noise and then a pop. The Host is said to burn his fingers, literally setting them on fire.
Since the official Vatican plan calls for Dolan to ascend the popey throne, they created a set of special finger-pads for him. Made from nano-materials, they look like human fingers while providing an effective barrier between His Holiness and the Host. No hiss, no pop. The Vatican says the Host doesn’t even know Dolan’s nearby -- the pads are that good!
And so His Eminence can continue to distribute Holy Communion to the faithful. According to Vatican insiders, when Dolan becomes pope he'll stop all that in-church nonsense and concentrate full-time on demonizing women and gays. They have a plan, the Vatican does.
At least, that's what I heard.
Since the official Vatican plan calls for Dolan to ascend the popey throne, they created a set of special finger-pads for him. Made from nano-materials, they look like human fingers while providing an effective barrier between His Holiness and the Host. No hiss, no pop. The Vatican says the Host doesn’t even know Dolan’s nearby -- the pads are that good!
And so His Eminence can continue to distribute Holy Communion to the faithful. According to Vatican insiders, when Dolan becomes pope he'll stop all that in-church nonsense and concentrate full-time on demonizing women and gays. They have a plan, the Vatican does.
At least, that's what I heard.
