Satan saves the day

We all owe a debt to Satanists. They're the final barrier in the way of anti-female wingnut laws. You're hip to the notion that the GOP is engaging in an all-out war on women, right? If not, you haven't been doing your due diligence. Try and keep up!

Here's today's episode:

A group of Satanic worshippers are suing Missouri's governor and attorney general in federal court, alleging that the state's abortion restrictions violate their religious beliefs and should be scrapped.

Hey, if no one else will step in to fight misogynistic laws, the Satanists know what they have to do. And thank god (or Dog, or Beelzebub; whatever). These sorts of laws are being passed all over the United States. It's much, much harder to get an abortion these days. And that's not how it's supposed to be. We crossed this bridge long ago. 

"All women who are contemplating getting an abortion in Missouri have the right, pursuant to the First Amendment, to exercise their freedom to believe when human life begins and act upon their belief without interference or influence by the state of Missouri," the lawsuit submits.

Sounds sensible to me. Read the entire linked article to get some background. And if this strikes you as !Breaking News! -- as I say, you'd better start reading real news sites. 

Go, Satanists! We finally have an answer to "Who you gonna call?" L. Diablo, naturally.

Satanists on top

You really have to hand it to the Satanists. These guys have a way with words:

The Detroit branch of the Satanic Temple has put up what they call a “Snaketivity Scene,” in which a snake offers a book titled, “Revolt of the Angels” as a gift. The snake is also wrapped around the Satanic cross. 

They knocked it out of the park with that phrase. What could be better than a "Snaketivity Scene"? It's just so darn special. But some wingnut Christians don't think so. Go figure.

State Senator Rick Jones, a Republican from the town of Grand Ledge, erected a Nativity scene on Friday featuring a baby Jesus, Joseph and Mary, and said he was glad to "represent the light and not the darkness,” AP reported. 

"They could have put theirs up in July or April or sometime. They didn't need to put it up in the Christmas season. That's OK. We're going to ignore them. I'm not afraid of the snake people. I'm sure that Jesus Christ is not afraid," Jones said. 

That was the best he could come up with, that he's not afraid of the snake people and neither is Jeebus. Swell. But of course this has nothing to do with Satan. It's just a bunch of fun atheists whose point is that you can't allow only Christian kitsch on government property. If you want to include sacred kitsch, you have to open the doors wide and let everyone in.

But rather than do the sensible, logical thing and take the Christian kitsch away, they were forced by law to allow anyone, even (gasp!) Satanists, to set up their kitsch.

But don't misunderstand. No one believes in Satan except religious nitwits. The truth is that there are no Satanists, just as there is no Satan and no god. This is just theater -- and good theater at that. Well done, guys!

Hohoho, Merry Xmas!