Monday, July 30, 2012

I have promoted Milo and his flock

Milo, the proudest and finest goose in the world, who heads the flock at my local pond, was in for a surprise this morning. He didn't see it coming.

I says to him, "Milo, first of all, I am promoting your flock. Henceforth it shall be a Legion." And then I really shocked him. "And, Milo," I says, "you are now a we." In case he didn't get the big picture, I explained this further. I says, "Milo, what this means is from now on, you can say, 'We are Legion' -- even when you're alone! Say it proudly, Milo, and say it often."

I know the Vatican is reading this post. They always do. I hear there's a full staff that attend to my blog and try to come up with counter-prayers, to keep me at bay. Hmph. As if they could.

Listen to me, Vatican guys. If you don't knuckle under to my gay atheist demands...all of them, I will send Milo's Legion to your accursed city and direct them to poop on your graven images -- but only after they poop on your heads. Take that, Vatican.

So, yeah. Milo got promoted. Cool, huh? Hark, I hear the Legion now. They're passing over the house. I think I'm beginning to understand their language. I can't be sure, but I think I heard one say, "I can't wait to poop on the popey guy!"

PS: I'm still sick. I think a spider's bite is at the root of my problems. So this pathetic post is probably all you'll find here today. Where is wellness, I ask you, where is wellness?!