Friday, July 12, 2013

Polish exorcists are on the case. Have no fear!

There's a dumb story over at HuffPo. I know; that's not news. But if you want to find an idiotic religious article to blog about, HuffPo's a veritable goldmine. Today, I found a gem. It seems that Polish exorcists are looking into the "Madonna problem".
For years, international pop star Madonna has infuriated Catholics the world over with her unabashedly religion-tinged performances and songs that often play off Catholic imagery. But the singer's distinctive style has apparently crossed a line with an international community of exorcists, who plan on discussing the "Madonna problem" at their annual conference at a Polish monastery.
Well, I guess that's it for Madonna. Now that Polish exorcists are after her, she truly has nowhere to run. The poor dear!
"Part of the conference is dedicated to the hidden subliminal message in communication, and the choice of this subject was inspired by the woman who dares to call herself Madonna," Father Andrzej Grefkowic, an exorcist and conference organizer told The Telegraph. "We've been worried about her concerts." 
Indeed. We all worry about Madonna's concerts. Demon Waves probably shoot out of her head when she sings -- and they can be harmful! Let's hope these exorcists can rid the poor woman of her demonic hangers-on.

Seriously, Madonna has to love stuff like this. She's getting free, insane publicity from these loons. So how can I get these Polish exorcists to focus on me? I mean, I must have the devil inside me. Elsewise, how could I be an atheist blogger? And even more pointedly, how could I have written "Xmas Carol"?!! It just stands to reason that I am possessed. Horrors!

But of course, the real shock is that anyone living in the 21st Century could think the devil is real. That's the sort of belief that turns reality on its head -- needlessly, of course. There are no devils, kids. Not even one. Still, it must be terrifying to be a Catholic. I can't imagine living in a world where unseen enemies are always stalking you. Religion: it's the ultimate nightmare.