Thursday, April 16, 2015

Congress must act now

As Congress twiddles its thumbs and strikes out at the president on a daily basis, it ignores the elephant in the room. Not once has a congressperson even mentioned a critical issue facing an important sector of the population -- American men who wear nail polish.

Yes, I'm talking about the fact that a man's manicure is ruined when he is forced to open and close a pants zipper all day long. No matter how many layers of polish a man wears, there's only so much abuse the finished surface can stand before a crack appears. And of course, at that point the manicure is ruined.

Men need bulletproof nail polish and they need it now. But has this issue even come up in open session in either house of congress? I've checked the records and I can tell you unequivocally that men's nail polish has never been mentioned in open session. This is a sin.

How long must American men suffer before they are granted relief? I regularly see grown men crying in public bathrooms as they look at their nails after zipping up. I tell you, it is the saddest sight in the world -- especially when you consider that no one in power cares.

Congress must take action immediately. Please, I beg of you, call or write your congressperson today and demand action. Men have suffered enough.