A thing or two

Last night I watched a White Sox game. I enjoy listening to Hawk Harrelson, one of their sportscasters. He says the oddest things. After watching a hitter take a swing in last night's game, he said, "He got a little bit o' Joe Mauer lookalike to him, don't he?" He has such a backwoods way about him. Do I think it's largely put on? Yup. But I still like the guy.

As for other matters, I can't find the energy to blog lately because the world looks so dreadful. I mean, what is there to say? "Man the lifeboats!" seems appropriate. But it's hardly uplifting. And I like to uplift you guys.

But seriously, an eight-year-old girl shoots an instructor in the head with an Uzi that he put in her hands after setting it on "fully automatic" -- and the media can only say this is "starting a conversation" about kids and guns?!! A conversation? Yeah, between the rational and the braindead.

And that's the thing. The world is running amok and everything is getting worse by the minute. Worst of all, there is no smart, charismatic leader to point the way forward - not here or anywhere else. And please don't tell me Hillary will make things better. She won't.

Welcome to planet Earth, run by hairless monkeys who've lost their way. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on us all.

Baseball talk

"His stuff is taking it to a whole ‘nother level!" So said a baseball announcer during a game. I love the way they talk about "stuff". Makes me laugh.

I also heard an announcer say, "He pulled the lampshade down on that one!" As in, "the show is over"? This was said of a pitcher striking a guy out. I don't understand the reference. All I can think of is drunk guys with lampshades on their heads. Any suggestions?

"And just like that, the inning is over." I love this all-purpose expression. You hear it in every other game. "And just like that, the score is 10-1!" It seems to key on the quickness of a change. "And just like that, the game is over," for instance, would seem to suggest a quick final inning.

Guy gets a hit. "He's makin' a statement out there!" Uh, no. He merely got a hit.

As always, I love the things Hawk Harrelson says. He's one of the regular White Sox announcers. In a game the other day, he said, "He's 4-5. And there's not a duck snort involved in there. They have all been hit right on the sweetmeat." I love the guy. He always sounds like he just emerged from a time machine. Very old school. (Aside: Siri knew exactly what I meant when I dictated what Hawk said. You'd think dictation would have a problem with "sweetmeat", but no. Siri knows everything about sports, including how to spell Hawk Harrelson.)

Okay, this one's not about language. I just want to say how nice it is to see Ryan Dempster sitting and spitting on the Red Sox bench. He looks very happy.

The wisdom of Hawk Harrelson

The other night I watched a White Sox game, mostly to hear Hawk Harrelson. I love this guy. He's an echo of a different time in baseball's history. At one point during the game, he praised the starter, Gavin Floyd, in these words: 

"He's just pitching his big, old behind off!" 

Hawk, I love ya. And I hope you live forever.