Contacting the sky god: lessons from baseball

For those of you who don't know how to contact the sky god, baseball points the way. Ever since the sport became a bastion of Christianity, players have been demonstrating the correct technique. Here are two effective variations:

1. Forehead, chest, left shoulder, right shoulder, one-potato. You have contacted the sky god!

(And by "one-potato" I mean the move you make when doing "one potato, two potato, three potato, four." You know how when you say "one potato" you bring your fist to your mouth and sort of kiss the hole made by your thumb and index finger? That's the one-potato move. So, from the top: Up, down, left shoulder, right shoulder, one potato. You've got it now! You are connected with the sky god!)

2. Make the sign of the cross without the one-potato move, and then close your eyes and look constipated as you send your prayer upward. Then comes the tricky part: you must make the sign of the cross again at the end, to close your session. So it's: sign of the cross; send prayer upward with constipated look on face; end with sign of the cross again. You have contacted the sky god!

Your chance to talk to aliens

There's an interesting article on physorg.com today. It's about the way we've been talking to aliens, and the way we should talk to them. "Scientists Suggest Protocol for Messaging to Aliens" is an article about the best methods for communicating with beings we know nothing about.

If you're interested, click on the article title in the previous paragraph. The best part is that we can play a role in devising the message that goes out to aliens. Here's a quote from the article:

“In the next few weeks, we will be collaborating with mathematicians and radio astronomers to come up with both the content and mode of communication of the message,” Atri said. “As suggested in the paper, it will not be anthropocentric like previous attempts. Once our collaboration comes up with a protocol, we will create an interactive website to test it globally. Anyone with internet access will be able to suggest his/her own message within the protocol guidelines based on scientific principles. We are also open to suggestions from both the scientific community and the general public for improvements in the protocol. It will be a community effort.”