What is it with obituaries?

I have a major peeve about obituaries. It concerns the people who place the damn obits in the paper. They write the thing so it's a paean to them! Why, pray tell, is the largest paragraph in the obituary a list of the people who "survived" the dead guy? Why should an obituary be an opportunity to list healthy people in the person's family? They didn't die; the dead guy died. Shouldn't the obituary be about him?

Wherever we look, even in obituaries, we see self-important twits.

How can we hurt Alabama?

Have you seen the news? Alabama made it a felony for undocumented immigrants to get water at their homes. A felony! If you are an undocumented immigrant and you set up an account to receive water at your home this is a felony?! Good grief. These people understand nothing about decency and the law. You can't make something so natural into a felony. It's despicable.

What is wrong with the people of Alabama? I mean, how evil is it to deny water to people, never mind call it a felony when they try to get some? I would like to take the state of Alabama in my hands and strangle it.

How can we hurt Alabama? We've got to. This cannot go unpunished.