The Christmas of "Xmas Carol"

Jeez, it's already December. Christmas is rushing toward us at 300 mph. If you haven't read "Xmas Carol", you may miss out this season. Because this isn't just any Christmas. It's the Christmas of Xmas Carol. It's a worldwide event.

You know how you've always wanted to read a novel that presents atheists as normal people? Well, your long wait is over. Get your copy of Xmas Carol today. It's available as an ebook at every major bookstore, including Amazon and Barnes & Noble. (If you'd like to pump up a more independent vendor, you can pick up a copy at Smashwords.)

But whatever you do, get your hands on this book and start reading. It's a great horror story with an Xmas theme and tons of great atheist characters. It will make you cry; it will make you laugh. (Okay, mostly the latter.) And did I mention it's only $2.99? Seriously, what are you waiting for? Get your copy today!

Nonsense creatures aren't scary

On the eve of Xmas Carol's publication, I'd like to re-post something I wrote last year. It's about the origin of the book.

I've always loved horror novels. I spent my entire life with my nose buried in a book (including during school hours) and half the time it was a horror novel. So when it came time to write one, I was certainly well-versed. Should be easy, right?

But then the obvious problem hit me: I've grown up and picked up some knowledge along the way. There are no witches, goblins, ghosts, gods or any other sorts of supernatural creatures. People don't come back from the dead, flesh-eating zombies are absurd, and not one single person on Earth needs an exorcism. I can't be frightened by nonsense. I'm all growed up.  If I included a monster in a book, it would have to be a real one.

To me, horror has to seem real to be frightening. The reader must accept the premise of the story for it to be effective. And while sizable American audiences seem happy to immerse themselves in any ludicrous idea at all, that's not the road I want to travel as a writer. No wizards, spells, demons or gods will find their way into my books.

In truth, even after these considerations, a large part of me wanted to write a ghost story. I'd been raised on them; they called to me. I even considered suspending my judgment, holding my nose and writing one for posterity. That salty, ramshackle beachfront mansion wanted me to write about it. It was so hard to resist. Couldn't I please write one? Please!? 

But I couldn't because there's no there there and that's an insurmountable problem. Still, I couldn't let go. But how could I possibly write a ghost story if ghosts don't exist? I refused to relinquish the idea; I gnawed at it for weeks. There must be a way, I thought.

Finally, I asked myself a question: What is like a ghost?  And therein lies the tale of Xmas Carol.

A bit dead

I wrote a post a couple of months ago bemoaning the fact that I'll never be able to write horror novels that have ghosts, witches, spells or any of that sort of nonsense in them. They don't exist, so poof! They're disqualified and I can't write about them. That's how it works for me. Only real (or conceivably possible) elements can worm their way into my stories.

But there's one eerie sort of tale that I may yet work into my bag of tricks. I'm talking about stories where the characters are really dead but it takes them the whole book (or movie) to realize it. "Hmm," you say. "But wouldn't that constitute a nonsensical story, Keith?"

Not especially. Humans experience flashbacks. We say, "his life flashed before his eyes," and everyone understands what we mean. It seems to me a significant story can be packed into a flash. All you have to do is play it back at a much slower speed. Voila: an eerie tale that doesn't break my self-imposed "reality rule".

At some point I'm going to try one of these. It won't be the usual, boring (i.e., SyFy Channel-like) story where there's a car crash at the beginning, and at the end they all see themselves dead in the wreck. I think I can do a lot better than that.

Am I tipping off my audience by saying this? Sure. But I'll bet you won't even recognize the gambit when you read the story. Betcha!

I'm talkin' horror and sci-fi movies heah

Were there any recent, stand-out horror or sci-fi movies? I think there were, but let's extend "recent" a ways back. More like "in recent memory", okay? Widens the field a bit. I'm only going to speak in general terms; you won't find spoilers here.

30 Days of Night is a terrific addition to the classic vampire genre (as opposed to the insipid kids-flying-in-the-sky genre of "vampire" movies). I love the setting of an isolated Alaskan town that, as the movie opens, is about to fall into a long night that will last 30 days -- and a tribe of vampires is waiting for darkess to fall so they can storm the town and eat everyone. Claustrophobic "pure" settings like this thrill me. It's so black and white, good and evil, snow and darkness. And the premise is marvelously oppressive. The characters will be trapped for a month in the dark with these monsters.  The movie is stylish, unlike anything I've ever seen. And if you haven't seen the way these vampires move, you're in for a treat. They're so disgusting. 

I loved this movie. It takes a great turn at the end, doing something fresh and new with the traditional vampire idea. The savagery, speed, look and sound of the vampires is startling. It is a whole new thing. Yes, the movie nods to tradition but in many ways it moves the genre forward. Fair warning: if you can't watch brutality, skip this one.

I see this one got a 5.1 out of 10 rating at rottentomatoes. You know how it works: if the public doesn't like it, it's probably great. And in this case, it is.

Next up: Solaris. I know it's been a while; the movie came out in 2002. But this was the best sci-fi movie since Alien, though in a very different way. There are no monsters in Solaris -- at least, no obvious monsters. I've watched my DVD of this movie about seven or eight times, and each time I see something new. It's so nuanced, so . . . magical. What a marvelous idea.

Not only is this remake of the movie incredibly gorgeous to look at and accompanied by a cosmic soundtrack, it also stars two of the nicest-looking humans who ever lived: George Clooney and Natascha McElhone. You can't take your eyes off them and they do a hell of an acting job. The movie is very much a sci-fi but it's also, and essentially, a love story. And the ending is so hopeful. It literally presents a new form of existence. 

The public only gave this excellent movie a 6.5 out of 10 -- so you know it's good. It's like the NY Times Book Review: if they say it's good, toss your copy out the window. But if they hate it, you may have a great book in your hands.

Lastly, Donny Darko, which is neither a horror nor a sci-fi movie, is one of my favorite movies of all time. And waddaya know -- the folks at the Big Tomater finally like one of my picks! Sort of. They didn't actually recognize the movie's greatness (phew!) -- they gave it a 7.5 out of 10 -- but at least they didn't love it, which would have been the kiss of death.

If you've seen the movie, and I'll bet you have, you know it's almost indescribable. It is a strange brew of schizophrenia, visions, time distortions, fear, hope, shock and death. Drew Barrymore did a stellar job directing the movie, melding those disparate qualities with a simple story about youth and its dealings with the wall of stupidity that we call adults. It's a thinkers' movie with thrills, and it's also endearing.

That's my three movies for today. What horror or sci-fi movies did you love?

Where do they go?

A very long time ago, I read a short story that haunted me. I think I was 16 at the time so it must have been about 1964. I think it was in a book of short stories . . . but it could also have been an issue of Amazing Stories. If it's the latter, it may truly be lost to time, though Feedbooks is doing a bang-up job of republishing those old Amazing Stories for today's electronic reading devices.

I remember the name of the author as being Howard Fast but I've never been able to find the story and there doesn't seem to have been a Howard Fast who wrote sci-fi or horror. At least, I haven't been able to find him. As for the story's title, I have no idea what it was. I would love to reread that story -- but it's lost. On the off-chance that someone stops by here and can tell me where to find it, here is a summary:

A family is moving into a new home. I have the impression that they are poor and the home is a bit of a wreck, but I can't be sure. The family includes several young children, as I recall, perhaps five ranging in age from 6 to 12.

The story concerns a mirror. I think they find it in the new house but they may have bought it used. The family thinks it's very nice but it seems some fool painted the mirror's surface black. There are layers and layers of paint so the family sets to scraping it off.

They complete this task and as they move away from the mirror, we the readers see the red-eyed, hellish, clawed, long-toothed creatures as they skitter over the edge of the mirror and slip into the room. As the story ends, the ravenous creatures are heading toward the family room to eat the children. The story ends before they get the chance.

I know, I know: it doesn't seem like much. But I remember being terrified by it, perhaps because of the writer's skill or perhaps because I had a fever and was delirious. I can't be sure of anything because it's a lost story. I still think of it at times, and always with longing. I want to read it again!

Have you lost stories, books or treasured writers over the years? Maybe we can help each other find them. Tell us about yours in the comments.