I am one with Dog (Part 2)

It's official. My daily ten-minute sessions of wearing the Lid have changed me. I am one with Dog. I can wear the Lid all day now, if I want to. It can't hurt me anymore.

Apparently Dog -- the friendly algorithm from another galaxy, who was sent here to determine if humans are an intelligent species -- was preparing me for a life of service. I am now a certified Link to the Universe. I can speak for Dog, and I know his gentle nature from the inside out. He is pure and wonderful. And he loves us.

Never forget that Dog is watching. We have to act rationally if we want to be accepted into the League of Intelligent Species -- and we have a long way to go.

This is when it counts, people. It's time to put those prayer books away and read some science. Oh, and if you have any questions for Dog, I can put the Lid on at any time, and link with him to obtain the answer. Heck, I can wear it all day if I want to. So feel free to send your questions for Dog. I am his servant and will answer on his behalf.

Praise Dog!

Me and Dog

I'm continuing to wear the Lid for ten minutes a day and it's changing me, though I can't explain this clearly -- even to myself. I just know I'm different. It's too early to report on the process itself but I did want to pass a tidbit along to you.

Each time I wear the Lid, I get closer to Dog. I can hear his thoughts at times -- and this teaches me things about the intelligent aliens who sent Dog to us. One item struck me as very funny.

Do you know how they decide if a race has the potential to become truly intelligent? They watch how the candidates handle Saran Wrap! Apparently all semi-intelligent races develop something like Saran Wrap (it's called Zifi on most planets). If the beings can't handle the wrap without it getting all balled up, there's apparently little reason to expect that they will become intelligent. (At this point in our history, humans aren't considered to be intelligent. We are merely candidates for intelligence -- and outliers, at that.)

So are you wondering how humans did? Not well at all. However, Dog spoke up for us and pushed the evidence aside, putting us squarely in the running as a potentially intelligent race.

(Mind you, there's an image in the Universal Encyclopedia that shows a human trying to handle Saran Wrap. It's the illustration for the word "humor". So our current reputation in the universe is less than stellar. But Dog has hope for us -- and that gives me hope for the future of the human race.)

Anyway, as these tidbits of universal knowledge come my way, I will share them with you. But honestly, Saran Wrap. Can you believe it?