Friday, December 31, 2010

Why not give up god this year?

Much as I'm trying to avoid the New Year's "festivities" (ugh), I keep hearing about people's resolutions. A foolish idea to begin with -- you don't need a special day to decide not to be an idiot anymore.

But if you're in the mood for resolutions, why not get real and give up god right now? I mean, think about it. Even if the idea of a "heavenly" afterlife is true, it would be an eternal nightmare.

Suck up to a power-mad "god" forever?! Hang out with folks from church forever?!  See the same, simpering, fearful faces at your side forever?!

They shouldn't call it heaven at all. This would be torture. No one thinks it through, no one realizes that their craven, selfish, incessant clawing after an afterlife is sickening. Why should you go to heaven while your dog can't? Oh, I forgot: it's cuz you're so special. You were created in the "image of god."

Get over yourselves. Toss god out with the garbage today and never think of "him" again. Consider the mental energy you'd free up, not to mention Sunday mornings! They can be quite cool without church always messing them up.

Look in the mirror today and say, "There is no god." Say it over and over. Guess what? The sky won't crash down on you, the world won't end, and you won't be going to an eternal hell. You'll just be a person. Now, I know a lot of you consider that a letdown but you are all buffoons.

The rest of us, the rational folks, know that this is a grand life, magical and mysterious in its own way. We know the only thing we have to do in life is be kind to others (and yes, that applies to animals too; put down that fork right now).

Wake up, folks. Heaven, if there was such a thing, would be Hell. But don't worry, neither one exists. It's all just a silly story.