Monday, September 5, 2011

Up at the castle with Nils

My trusted associate, Nils, invited me to his mountaintop castle late Sunday afternoon. Of course I went. Who wouldn't? He rarely allows anyone to see the inside of that place; even I have only been twice. It's holy there, what with Nils' searing intelligence and his inimitable sense of style. He decorated the castle himself and it is breathtakingly original. I'd say more but it's against the rules. Nils is strict about this.

Anyway, Nils sat me down before the red stone fireplace in the library and told me he had something very serious to say. As if to underline the gravity of the situation, he brought out some fabulous dope and we smoked ourselves into a state of extra-cosmic consciousness before he said a word. So there I was, stoned out of my mind and ready for anything -- or so I thought.
But what Nils said left me in shock. He thinks I should shut down this blog!

"You are posting pearls for swine that doesn't even have the decency to comment," he said, quite forcefully -- well, for Nils, anyway. He's quite soft-spoken.

To tell the truth, Nils has always been skeptical about the intestinal fortitude of my readers. Apparently his misgivings had reached critical levels.

"If they don't want to comment," he said in that high squeaky voice of his, "they shouldn't be allowed to read your posts. Blogging is a two-way platform. They're not doing their part and so you must abandon them -- for your sake and theirs. Perhaps without you to read each day, they'll have to look in a mirror or something. This, in turn, might cause them to develop a personality -- and from there to commenting is a short skip and a jump!"

He has a way with words, does Nils. Well, as I say, I was stunned and didn't know what to think. It was so unexpected, despite Nils' longtime dyspepsia regarding my readers. But then all too soon, Nils called a cab and sent me on my way. He had spoken his piece. And now I'm sitting here in my non-castle, wondering if Nils is right about this (as he is about all things).

What do you think? Should I keep blogging?