Pope Francis and Beelzebub

Many people thought Pope Francis would bring progressive change to his church. Alas, it seems the pope believes in all sorts of fairytale creatures, including evil ones. In the year 2014, this pope still believes the devil is real. Srsly. And now he's lifting the devil's profile big-time.

The Vatican has formally recognized the International Association of Exorcists, a group of 250 priests in 30 countries who liberate the faithful from demons.

More than his predecessors, Pope Francis speaks frequently about the devil, and last year was seen placing his hands on the head of a man purportedly possessed by four demons in what exorcists said was a prayer of liberation from Satan.

All hope is lost, kids. The devil is coming for you -- well, unless you send 20 Cheerios box-tops to the Int'l Association of Exorcists. (Whatever you do, don't fold them!) If you get those holy box-tops to the IAE in time, your eternal soul will be saved. Hallelujah!

It's hard for me to understand how anyone can believe in gods, but it's even harder to grasp people's belief in demons and devils and witches and warlocks and spells and incantations and other completely imaginary dreck.

The pope's a nut. That's the bottom line. Catholics should run for the hills.