Wednesday, August 27, 2014

None o' them new-fangled gadgets for me. No siree.

Although I love computers and everything they bring to the world, and though I consider it fun to perform maintenance tasks on a motorcycle, I detest most machines. Give me software; you keep the hardware.

Fax machines? I skipped them entirely, never deigning to actually use one. In baseball, they often say a hitter "spits on" a pitch. It means he thinks the pitch is garbage and ignores it. Well, I spit on fax machines.

I also hate washers, dryers, cars and most other machines. And I especially hate toaster ovens. Spawn of the devil! How dare they make me turn dials and settings? It's way too complicated and it sucks at toasting bread.

So I got me one o' them toasters. Yup, an old-timey toaster. It's great! I can't get over it: you just put the bread in and push down on a thing -- and moments later, toast pops out. It's a miracle!

I put the old toaster oven, which was only used by visitors to my house, in a pile of stuff I intended to throw out. But then a friend stopped by and he wanted it. So it found a home. (In case you're wondering, someone bought the damn thing for me. They were obviously possessed by demons.)

Now life is grand, what with my new toaster and all. Mmmm-mmmm-mmmmm. Crunchy.

Is there any kind of machinery you've avoided since it appeared on the scene? Seriously, fax machines?! Ugh.