Caffeine, and such

All Fox News viewers drink decaffeinated coffee -- every one of them. We know this to be true because if they had a cup of real coffee, they'd wake up and change the channel. I swear, these people are so odd. They're a combination of opposing things. Even as they are enraged by the latest nonsense spewed by Fox News, more than 50% of their brain mass remains in coma. A single cup of real coffee could cure many of these lost souls, but that will never happen. They fear coffee, like vampires fear sunshine.

Speaking of caffeine, you've all been watching Chris Hayes' show on MSNBC, right? It's on weeknights at 8 pm, right before Rachel. I swear, as I watch the show I find myself rejoicing. Finally someone is talking fast enough. Hallelujah! Not only that but his staccato delivery infects his guests, and soon they're all jabbering at lightning speed. How this thrills my heart.

Chris is terrific. Knows his stuff and doesn't let anything slip by. It's like blogs came to life and turned into a TV guy. And did I mention he talks fast?

This and that

1. Recently I heard someone say that he was all "tapped out", when a stranger asked him for money. I wondered where the expression came from. Turns out it's British in origin. There they say (or used to say) that someone is "on the tap" when they're looking for a loan or a handout. So there you go.

2. Last night when the phone rang, I had an uncomfortable memory of the not-so-old days, when we had no idea who was calling us. In these days of constant caller-ID, it seemed a chilling idea. Not knowing who's on the phone?! Horrors. It's amazing how quickly these innovations work their way into our lives. And then we can't imagine living without them.

3. Have you heard about Rent a Mourner? It's a service based in the UK. Don't have people to wail plaintively at your mother's funeral? No problem. Rent a few. This reminds me of my post about the professional wailers in my Italian-American community, as I grew up. Those old Italian ladies dressed in black and would "wail" loudly at anyone's funeral -- for a price.

4. Here's an idea: Let's harken back to the days of "yellow journalism" and refer to Fox News as yellow media. They'd hate this! Yellow means cowardly; that's what they'd take away. I like it!

Is Al Jazeera turning into Fox News?

Today, when Egyptians protest against President Mohammad Morsi and the rule of the Muslim Brotherhood, Al-Jazeera is often critical of them, in the style of the old pro-government TV station. Conversely, according to ex-correspondent Suliman, Al-Jazeera executives have ordered that Morsi's decrees should be portrayed as pearls of wisdom. "Such a dictatorial approach would have been unthinkable before," he says. "In Egypt we have become the palace broadcaster for Morsi." 

I can't believe I'm reading this. According to an article at Der Spiegel, Al Jazeera has become a mouthpiece for the Foreign Ministry of Qatar, just as Fox in the US is the mouthpiece for the GOP.

A prominent correspondent who, until one year ago, used to report in Beirut for the network, says: "Al-Jazeera takes a clear position in every country from which it reports -- not based on journalistic priorities, but rather on the interests of the Foreign Ministry of Qatar," he says. "In order to maintain my integrity as a reporter, I had to quit."

When, for instance, mass protests were staged against the neighboring regime in Bahrain, a close ally of the emir, Al-Jazeera almost entirely ignored the situation. In Syria, on the other hand, where Qatar supports the Islamist-leaning opponents of President Bashar Assad with money and weapons, the network's journalists are extremely close to the rebels.

That's a page directly from the Fox News playbook. This is distressing because Al Jazeera has been a sterling, independent news source since its creation. What a terrible downfall for a formerly trusted news source. And I'm not the only one who thinks this.

The Arab TV network has recently suffered an exodus of prominent staff members. Reporters and anchors in cities like Paris, London, Moscow, Beirut and Cairo have left Al-Jazeera, despite what are seen as luxurious working conditions in centrally located offices.

It's just sad. Of all the things I thought Al Jazeera might turn into, Fox News wasn't on the list.

They got it wrong

Racial prejudice in America is more widespread now than when President Barack Obama became the country's first black president in a historic 2008 vote, a new survey has shown.

So says an article in the Guardian. But this isn't true. America is exactly as prejudiced as it always was. What has changed is that people are now stupid enough to openly and proudly state that they're racists. You can blame Fox News, the Republicans and plaque in the brain for this. But nothing has changed.

Breaking news from the Vatican!

I imagine we'll be seeing "breaking news" headlines from the Vatican now that they've got an official Fox News spokesperson.

In his new job as the Vatican’s senior communications adviser, Burke, 52, will be counseling Pope Benedict XVI and his closest staff on how to better project the Catholic Church’s image to the rest of the world.

I can just see it now. The popey guy appears on-screen. Below his image, big red letters blink with the word: "ALERT ALERT ALERT". And then the popey guy says, breathlessly, "A miracle has occurred in Transylvania! The Blessed Virgin Mary has appeared to thousands!"

Oy. It fits right in, doesn't it? Heck, he can use direct Fox News feeds and call them his own. After all, they say the same sorts of things the popey guy says: anti-gay, anti-Obama, anti-sanity stuff. It's a miracle! And I heard on Fox News that this whole set-up was preordained in the Bible!

You just don't know what to say

The Vatican has brought in the Fox News correspondent in Rome to help improve its communications strategy as it tries to cope with one of its most serious scandals in decades, The Associated Press learned Saturday.

Is that perfect, or what? The AP article ends with something that seems to be a slap in the Vatican's face:

The Vatican has been bedeviled by communications blunders ever since Pope Benedict XVI's 2005 election, and is currently dealing with a scandal over leaked documents.

They have to be making fun of him, right? This comes right after a Vatican spokesman said all their problems were the work of the devil. Gotta be a jibe. Gotta.

A question

I just saw someone make vomiting noises as they viewed Nancy Pelosi on TV, speaking about Gabby Giffords' sacrifice. The person couldn't bear to watch Pelosi for one second because Fox has informed her that Nancy is the devil. It didn't matter that it was a decent remark about Gabby. This was the devil speaking, and never mind that what she was saying was kind and generous.

Here's my question. After all the old people in this country die off, do you think rabid TV like Fox will survive? I don't. There will always be stupid religious people but I don't believe we'll see this level of ignorance, logical failure and unfettered hatred again in our lifetimes. At least I hope not.

What's your opinion?

Booman today

Booman Tribune has a post up this morning called Does Fox Make People Stupid?. Here's an excerpt:

Would Fox News viewers begin to show signs that they understood current events and basic facts as well as or better than the viewers of other networks?

My suspicion is that they would make some gains but they would never reach parity. The reason is because their higher brain function is undeveloped or simply damaged. They are attracted to fear and they get some kind of positive rush out of hate. Their capacity for empathy is either lacking or it has atrophied. Without the kind of stimulus that Fox News provides to feed their distorted emotions, they're unlikely to function, let alone learn.

Booman often says true things. That's why I read him.