So atheists CAN be saved, kinda, sorta?

There was a big brouhaha recently when the pope said seemed to say that atheists can go to heaven. All sorts of reports and stories spewed from the media about this. At the time, HuffPo, among other outlets, reported that the Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican representative, "clarified" the pope's words by stating that atheists cannot be saved.

But that was last week. I just came across a "corrected" story at HuffPo. They now report that Rosica never said this. Apparently what they originally reported was text from a catechism. (Though even in the corrected story, it seems Rosica offered the text. But who's quibbling?) Anyway, here's what they said in the corrected story:

Rosica wrote that it's not impossible for an atheist to eventually be saved by Christ. 

“Rejection of Christianity may not mean the rejection of Christ,” he wrote. "We can never say with ultimate certainty whether a non-Christian who has rejected Christianity...is still following the temporary path mapped out for his own salvation which is leading him to an encounter with God.”

Well, thanks for clearing that up. So my atheist path may lead me to an encounter with god, eh? Of course, there is no god so this meeting will never take place. However, should such an unlikely event come my way, I will punch this supernatural creature right in his gay-hating, woman-stomping, child-killing face. Come to think of it, I'd really enjoy pummelling the monster responsible for all the pain and suffering that living creatures experience.

But for now, I'm quite sure that being a militant anti-god blogger and novelist is the "path mapped out for my salvation". I just define salvation differently. So I'll blog on.

See you later, jeebus.

Vatican to atheists: "Guess where you're going?"

"You're going to hell, after all." That's the message the Vatican has for atheists. Remember last week when the pope said even atheists can go to heaven? Well, the Vatican would like you to know that he never, never, never said such a thing (although he really, really, really did):

But in an "explanatory note on the meaning of 'salvation,'" the Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman highlighted that being "good" alone is not enough to be saved. People who know about the Catholic Church, he explained, "cannot be saved" if they "refuse to enter her or remain in her."

Ah. So the refurbished message is this: If atheists are "aware" of the church -- even if they also know that this is the church where the priests rape the kids and the higher-ups hide it -- they must join the congregation and salute the rapist priests. Only then will they be handed a ticket to heaven. What a holy message! Hallelujah.

Another mindless Catholic twit, Rev. John Zuhlsdorf, said on his blog:

“[The pope] was clear that salvation is only through Christ’s Sacrifice.  In other words, he is not suggesting – and I think some are taking it this way – that you can be saved, get to heaven, without Christ.”

But he did suggest it, Blanche. He did. Anyway, is Zuhlsdorf a mind-reader? If any clarification is necessary, the infallible guy should provide it. For now, we're just going to believe what Francis said: if an atheist is a good person, he'll go heaven!

Note that the article in the Christian Post, which I linked to above, is titled: "Atheists are still going to hell, says Vatican spokesman". Such a sweet, sweet church.

Tough noogies, fellas. I'm going to heaven, and that's that.

Hat tip to Jerry Coyne.