Set your stopwatch right now!

Did you forget? Silly goose. This Friday is the Apocalypse. We know this because Robert Fitzpatrick says so. And he's always right, well, except for the last Apocalypse he predicted.

One delicious thing I did not know until reading the linked article is that he's from Staten Island. That is so perfect.

Don't forget to give all your possessions away to ensure that you're among the saved. You'll surely be Raptured if you do this. Saved! Woot!

And don't worry if you're not saved. Mr. Always Right says: "There should be no suffering whatsoever for the unsaved. They will simply vanish into nothingness." Well, hooray for that too!

Nutters everywhere

Two of MSNBC's main headlines today:

"God was behind Big Bang, Pope says"
"Experts: Mass bird deaths are not apocalyptic"

Phew, huh? Thank goodness god exploded the universe into being and he's not trying to kill us all right now, huh? I'm so relieved!

Nutters. We are living in a world of blubbering idiots. I can't wait to see how "apocalyptic" they try to make things before the day of doom: May 21st. Now don't forget: dress properly for the Special Day of the End Times. I guess a totally enclosed, fireproof suit would be the best thing to wear.

Seriously, these are two of the six main headlines today on an actual American media web site. Not World Nut Daily, but MSNBC! Like we need to "know" this stuff. What a world.

There ain't no god, people. Wake up!