Baseball cometh

It's the first day of baseball season and I'm sick. See? There is no god. I'll watch the games anyway but I'm seriously out of it. In fact, I just stopped reading the news because I can't understand what I'm reading. It's that kind of sick.

Ah, well. No matter how I feel, it's still the first day of the baseball season. And that's a very good thing.

Easter ushers in the new baseball season

Today we celebrate Easter, the day that signifies the resurrection of the baseball season. As the Easter bunny always says, "Rejoice! Baseball has climbed out of its sepulchre. It lives!"

But of course, we can't forget the simple joy that Easter brings to children. Every child -- rich or poor -- knows that on Easter morning, he or she will wake up to a fresh basket of bats made of peanuts and white chocolate. And then later in the day, they will experience the joy of trying to find the chocolate baseballs hidden in their yards by local baseball coaches.

So if you see a child sitting in a yard today, eating a tasty baseball bat and dreaming of the coming season, give the kid a high five and tell him your favorite team.

Because this is the real meaning of Easter: play ball!!!

The baseball season is over

It was a very nice year. That's my take on the season. None of my favorite teams made it to the post-season but I'm okay with that. It was a good year.

Even the post-season was fun, despite my low expectations. The World Series was great except for that one lop-sided game. The other games were tremendous. Were we watching the best baseball players in America? Probably not. But they gave it their all and it turned into one of the greatest all-time baseball battles -- and never mind all those errors. I think it's fun that the Cardinals won and Tony LaRussa can go into retirement a happy man. (Okay, what I really mean is it's fun that Nolan Ryan failed big-time on live, high-definition TV and we all got a chance to see his fat face crumble. Game 6 was the uber-collapse of the century and there's tremendous fun in this.)

The Touch sent me to heaven!

No, not the touch of sky gods -- I mean my iPod Touch. It's the best thing ever. I know I'm probably the last person in America to get on board with mobile apps, but now that I've been playing with them for a few days I'm a wild-eyed convert. Who knew life could be this simple? (That's it at left in the exceptionally cute green case I got for it. Don't you want to hug it? Back away! Don't you dare touch my Touch!) (Note: Photo in original post on main blog.)

Pandora is indeed god. It's just as they said. It came unto me and all was well. In case you're out of the loop, like I was a mere three days ago, Pandora lets you listen to "radio" based on songs and artists you like. It's wonderful. I can't believe all the new music I've heard -- and it's stuff I like! It won't be a chore to find a Sunday music video anymore.

Best of all, I know how I'll get through the baseball off-season now. I'll just listen to Pandora until Spring arrives. That and the Tommy John surgery (and the visit from Jason Varitek) will see me through. Woot! I'm saved!

My secret plan for the baseball off-season

Okay, I don't handle the end of the baseball season well. It's a crushing, depressing, mind-shattering prospect and the question is always the same: how the hell am I going to get through the long winter months without a single baseball game?

Each year I think I'll flip out. I try to imagine myself getting through the first evening without a game -- and I can't. No baseball games? I'll go mad! I don't sob when I think about it but I come very close. And it's coming! There are only two more weeks to the regular season and then it's on to the short post-season -- and then comes that long, deathly silence that lasts until Spring. No baseball! Horrors!

But this year I have a plan. To stay close to major league baseball, I've decided to have Tommy John surgery during the off-season. Take that, empty TV screen! Oh, it'll be tough for sure. But I'll bet a lot of the regular players will stop by to share their experience, strength and hope with me. Probably Jason Varitek will move in with me for the first few weeks after the surgery, just to be sure I'm okay.

And then of course I'll have a period of intense rehab leading up to Spring Training. I figure I'll do it down in Port St. Lucie, where the Mets train. I think this is a very good plan. I feel positive about it. I will spend the off-season in the heart of baseball!