Catholic "angelologist" talks wings

You almost wonder if it's a joke. Sadly, it's not.

Angels exist but do not have wings and are more like shards of light, at least according to a top Catholic Church “angelologist” who says the heavenly beings are now back in vogue thanks to New Age religions.

“I think there is a re-discovery of angels in Christianity,” Father Renzo Lavatori told AFP on the sidelines of a conference on angels in a lavishly-frescoed Renaissance palace in Rome.

“You do not see angels so much as feel their presence,” said Lavatori, adding: “They are a bit like sunlight that refracts on you through a crystal vase.”

Ah, now it all makes sense to me. And it turns out this guy walks both sides of the street. He's versatile.

The widely-published Catholic clergyman is also a “demonologist” and says angels are more needed than ever because increasing secularisation and materialism in society have left an “open door” for the devil.

“There is a lot more interference from diabolical forces. That is why you see queues of people outside the exorcists’ offices in churches,” he said.

So that's the reason for those long lines. I often see long, winding lines outside the exorcist offices in my local area. I always wondered why. But now, thanks to Father Lavatory, I understand. Praise jeebus!

About those nonexistent demons

Ed Brayton reports that Karl Payne, an "expert demonologist", said the following about American Halloween traditions, such as dressing up as a witch, a zombie or a demon:

“When you live in [a] culture that glamorizes this, when you live in a culture that encourages people to get involved in these type of activities, do you not think that there are some people, from all age groups, who get lured into the occult through the culture we promote?” Payne asked.

Uh, Karl...there is no occult. No one believes in this stuff. Young people who claim to be "Satanists" are just kids who use "magic" as an excuse to take drugs and have sex while feeling they are one with their favorite heavy metal band. There is no belief involved. Only crazy religious people think about this stuff. Covens, for instance, do not exist. And even if they did, the "coven" would just be a group of lonely people who get together to read from old books. Completely harmless.

Repeat after me: there is no occult. It's just a scary term that exists in religious people's heads -- including the head of Karl Payne. He's trying to scare stupid people into reading his silly book on demons. Good luck with that, Karl.