Be still, my heart!

The day has finally come! The slithy toves are all, like, totally brillig. Yes, it's the first day of the conclave! (Shouts issue from crowd.)

VATICAN CITY — Cardinal Angelo Sodano, celebrating the Mass on Tuesday preceding the conclave to elect the next pope, issued an appeal for unity in the Catholic Church, which has been damaged by Vatican corruption and clerical sex abuse scandals. (Snip)

He referred to the “luminous pontificate” of the “beloved and venerated Pontiff Benedict XVI, to whom in this moment we renew our profound gratitude,” drawing long applause from the worshippers. A number of the cardinals, but not all, clapped their hands modestly. 

The game is on. There will be only one vote today and it is unlikely to produce a winner. Drat. But at least we can tune out for the day, and tend to our lives. 

Remember to pray for lavender smoke! (Or should we? The last gay pope wasn't exactly helpful to GLBT folks.) Okay, never mind. Pray for black smoke. Let's hope they never settle on a new pope and the church remains rudderless for centuries. Hooray!

Will we have another gay pope?

While speaking with a gay cardinal who is among those who will elect the pope, I learned something startling. If we see white smoke tinged with lavender -- it means they've elected another gay pope.

I must caution you to keep this to yourself. My source asked that this remain strictly confidential. So whatever you do, don't tell anyone! I know I can trust you. That's the great thing about the internet -- we can keep secrets.