Eat, me hearties! Eat!!

Perhaps the most surprising finding was that excessive weight may prove a boon for pedestrians in a collision. Victims with an above-normal body mass index were found to have less severe injuries than their counterparts. “It is not implausible that a greater proportion of torso and extremity fat may protect against injury,” the report said. 

So eat all you want (or be more careful).

Best baseball opening day ever

I had a great time watching the first games of the baseball season yesterday. I was sick with the flu (or whatever) but I hardly noticed.

The Mets won their game 11-2. John Niese -- one of my favorite pitchers -- was terrific. It was a pleasure to see the team play this well on the first day of the season.

But that was nothing compared to the Washington Nationals game. Baseball god Bryce Harper, after hitting .478 in spring training, hit a home run in each of his first two at-bats. And he threw a ball pefectly, all the way from the outfield to home plate, and started one of the best double-plays I've ever seen.

As if that wasn't enough, the Red Sox capped off the day by trouncing the evil Yankees. Seriously: Best. Opening Day. Ever.

A way to prevent massacres

I know this concept has its problems, but stay with me here. Now, we have this problem with crazy males, usually white and young, who think it's a grand idea to shoot up movie theaters, classrooms, malls, etc. And what do they want? Fame. (They don't seem to grasp the distinction between fame and notoriety, but let's not split hairs here.) The question is what can we do about it. Try this on for size.

What if we announce an award -- something like, but not identical to, a Bronze Star -- for those who stop themselves from committing a massacre, either by committing suicide or turning themselves in. To advertise the new award, we make a big media splash about the offer, and when the first almost-killer commits suicide before taking action -- he is treated like a true hero and awarded this Star.

Not only this, but we create a special prison for these lunkheads. And we promise potential massacre-stoppers that they can play violent video games for the rest of their lives with similar potential sociopaths in this prison. I mean, who cares, right? They're out of the way and they won't cause any deaths. Problem solved.

At first I thought of this only as an "If you commit suicide before killing anyone, we'll give you the award" notion. The problem with this is that it would encourage mentally unbalanced people to kill themselves. Not good. But by adding in the idea that they can also turn themselves in, and still score the award and a bunk in the video-game prison, I think this issue disappears.

I know it sounds nuts. But it also could work. All they want is fame, right? We'll do TV shows about how they stopped themselves in time. So the choice facing these poor souls is this: do you want to be remembered by people who hate you, or people who admire you?

I know the idea needs work, but what do you think?

UPDATE: A moment after publishing this, I came across a story that presents the messier side of a notion like this. Check it out. 

Gary Gutting explains his wide stance

I've always wondered why the writing of Gary Gutting, who produces "The Stone", a philosophy column at the New York Times, is so mushy and ineffective. He hasn't written one solid column yet. I know because I've read quite a few of them. He is the king of accommodationist thinking, always trying to find a parking spot for religion.

In today's column, I found this:

Critics outside the Church will ask how I adhere to an institution that has so many deep flaws.  My first response is that the Catholic tradition of thought and practice is the only stance toward religion that, in William James’s phrase, is a “live option” for me — the only place I feel at home.  Simply to renounce it would be, as I said at the outset, to lose my self-respect — to deny part of my moral core.

Gary, no one finds a moral core in Roman Catholicism. Because it's just not there. But thanks for answering my question about why you always present religion as compatible with reality.

But it's not, Blanche; it's not.

Baseball cometh

It's the first day of baseball season and I'm sick. See? There is no god. I'll watch the games anyway but I'm seriously out of it. In fact, I just stopped reading the news because I can't understand what I'm reading. It's that kind of sick.

Ah, well. No matter how I feel, it's still the first day of the baseball season. And that's a very good thing.

Gee, thanks

The Food and Drug Administration says smokers that are trying to quit can safely use nicotine gum, patches and lozenges for longer than previously recommended. 

Current labels suggest consumers stop smoking when they begin using the products and that they should stop using them after 12 weeks. 

The problem is that they don't say how long you can use them. To those of us who've been using these products for five or more years -- and there are a ton of us -- this is welcome but incomplete news. How long can you "safely" use them?

And as for talking about this with your doctor, I've brought the subject up with both my doctor and dentist. Neither had a clue how safe or dangerous these products are.

So gee, thanks, FDA. You're always such a big help!

One more thing

On Dolan's media-studded "friendship for the gays" tour yesterday, he also said this:

Dolan says he would tell gay men and lesbians that God loves them and they're entitled to friendship. But he says marriage is a union between a man and a woman "where children can come about naturally." 

It seems that as he bashed gay marriage, Dolan also felt a need to tell adopted children they're not as good as kids that "come about naturally". And that parents of adopted kids might as well not be married. What is wrong with this fellow?

We still have no answer to the biggest question involving this church: why do they attack gays? They're never able to explain it in a rational way. It boggles the mind. Why is their god so concerned with everyone's genitals? What a strange religion this is.