Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Jesus skips camp; shows up for season

During baseball's spring training, I noticed that the players did not make the sign of the cross before taking a swing. And the pitchers never knelt in ceremonial, look-at-me-I'm-holy prayer before taking the mound. It was refreshing to see that Jesus wasn't invited to camp.

But on Opening Day, Jesus charged out onto the field with our boys. Hooray! Now the lads don't have to suffer outside the sight of their Lord. They are again in his Grace. We know because the stupid twits never miss an opportunity to flash that magic hand across their head, shoulders and heart. Jeebus rides with them once again! I can't wait to see my first pitcher kneeling so everyone can check out how pious he is.

So yes, Jeebus is back. But let us remember for all time that He is not welcome at spring training. I get more fond of spring training with each passing year. It's a good, clean time.

PS: I was going to include a photo of players or teams praying but was utterly horrified by the sheer glut of such pictures I found with a simple search. Ugh. There is no god, people. And players shouldn't bring their absurd religious fantasies into the national game of baseball. They soil the game (and their religion too, by the way; but that's another post for a different blog).