Saturday, May 21, 2011

New approach to E.T.

Okay, so we sent a golden record into space aboard Voyager -- a message for sundry aliens out there. It has sounds and photos and music and other information and it'll probably be fun for aliens to analyze if they can figure out how to play it on their alien machines.

But you know, I can't help but notice that when we make friends with another species on Earth we always do it the same way: with food. How much would our dogs love us if we didn't feed them?

So what I'm thinking is this: next time we send lasagna. Oh no, wait. Maybe they don't eat meat. Okay, so we send a spinach quiche. Doh! They might be vegan. Wait, let me think. I know, I know! We'll send a vegan pizza with nice veggies on top. And we'll package it freeze-dried inside a microwave that heats it up when the outer seal is broken: instant pizza, instant galactic friends! Oh no, wait! Vegan pizza? What could I have been thinking? Jeez, I don't know what-all to send them. Any suggestions?

And then we'll just have to hope that NASA reads this post and follows the comment thread closely. For all our sakes.