Another sign from dog

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — When a 100-pound shipment of lobsters arrived at Bill Sarro's seafood shop and restaurant last month, it contained a surprise — six orange crustaceans that have been said to be a 1-in-10-million oddity. 

Add to this the recent news about a blue lobster that uncannily landed in a fisherman's net -- and you have clear evidence that dog is trying to contact us. Wait, there's more:

In recent years, accounts of bright blue, orange, yellow, calico, white and even split lobsters — one color on one side, another on the other — have jumped.

OMD! What do you think dog is trying to tell us? Let's see...orange, blue, white and yellow. (I think we can ignore the calico; that's probably just dog's sense of humor.) My best guess is that dog is trying to tell us next Spring's fashion palette! That must be it.

What do you think this sign means? I'm telling you, I have goosebumps!

OMD!

I just tossed two aspirin into a dish . . . and they landed on edge and remained standing! Now, if this was merely a one-aspirin toss, you might write it off. But this was an official two-aspirin toss and both landed on edge. It must be a sign! It's gotta be!

After hours spent in meditation, I believe I know what this means. Dog has given me a sign because he's so goddamn happy about the upcoming publication of Xmas Carol. That has to be it! Dog is speaking to me!

Now I know how Pat Robertson feels.