Consumer Reports chimes in. Better late than never.

Remember way back in the Pleistocene, when I told you not to spray suntan lotion on your kids because it's wildly dangerous? Well, yesterday, Consumer Reports said the same thing -- only they didn't have the balls to tell you exactly what the danger is. They simply say you should avoid spraying suntan lotion on the kiddies. The danger is not, as Consumer Reports suggests, the possibility of allergic reactions and asthma. The danger is (say it with me, kids) nanoparticles. They'll go into your kids' lungs and never come back out. God only knows the harm they'll do in there. One report I saw on the news last night said the companies are still refusing to say exactly what is in these sprays. But sure, go spray them on kids. What the hell, they're only kids.

Two full years have passed since I told you about this danger. How many kids inhaled this stuff between then and now? And why wasn't something said much, much sooner? I'll answer the last question: because the manufacturers of this brand of poison don't want to lose money. That's why your kids will get sick: to increase someone's profits. Welcome to America. USA! USA!

Read both stories, mine and the CR version. And then spend the summer slapping these bottles out of mommies' hands when they're about to spray their unsuspecting kids.

Got that? Good.

Okay, I'll watch it (a little, maybe)

I was going to skip "Extant", but after reading this review at SF Gate, I'm going to check out the first episode. I find Halle Berry creepy, which is why I was going to skip it -- well, that and the fact that it will be doled out like a TV soap opera (i.e., little will happen in a single episode but there will be cliff-hangers galore).

Howsomever, I want to see the couple's "child" -- a young android named Ethan, who is described in the review as a "young Brent Spiner". (He's the guy who played Data on Star Trek Next Generation.) Could be fun.

But it's got Halle Berry in it, so in the end I suspect I'll abandon the series. Still, I do want to see the mini-Data kid. It's on tonight at 9 pm on CBS. Just FYI.

Language (and customs) of baseball

I often write longish posts about the language used by baseball broadcasters. I haven't done much of that this year. (You can use the search box above-left to find a bunch of them. Just pump in "language of baseball".) But I do want to report one thing I heard.

I'm not sure who said it. I didn't note the team name or the broadcaster's name. In fact, I didn't write it down at all. But I remember. It was an old guy who said it, one of the die-hards from another era who's still hanging on as a baseball broadcaster. I love those old guys because they say things that are truly bizarre.

A pitcher threw a really good pitch, but the batter got all of it. He blasted an incredibly fast line-drive over first base. It was way high in the air but the first baseman made a superb, almost superhuman jump and caught the ball. Watching what the pitcher did next, the announcer said:

"That's the kind of play where a pitcher's just gotta go over to his first baseman and pat him on the rear."

And that's why I love the old announcers: they're weird.

I side with Maya Peterson

White privilege really sucks. Go read this story about "the first black female student president of The Lawrenceville School, an affluent academy for boarding and day students located in New Jersey". Afterward, perhaps you'll join me in a cheer: "Go, Maya!"

I know, I know. It's the 4th of July and you're busy getting drunk while attempting to increase your weight by eating everything in sight. Maybe these excerpts will pique your interest and make you put that beer can down. Here's Maya speaking for herself:

"Yes, I am making a mockery of the right-wing, confederate-flag hanging, openly misogynistic Lawrentians," Peterson told BuzzFeed. "If that's a large portion of the school's male population, then I think the issue is not with my bringing attention to it in a lighthearted way, but rather why no one has brought attention to it before."

At least one alumnus is on her side:

"The fact that Maya and friends were reprimanded for throwing up black power signs that made white students uncomfortable but these white students are never, to my knowledge, reprimanded for making black students uncomfortable is the definition of racism."

This story raised my hackles. When an underdog fights back, he or she is usually crushed by the powers that be. That's what happened to Maya Peterson. And it's wrong.

Pope Francis and Beelzebub

Many people thought Pope Francis would bring progressive change to his church. Alas, it seems the pope believes in all sorts of fairytale creatures, including evil ones. In the year 2014, this pope still believes the devil is real. Srsly. And now he's lifting the devil's profile big-time.

The Vatican has formally recognized the International Association of Exorcists, a group of 250 priests in 30 countries who liberate the faithful from demons.

More than his predecessors, Pope Francis speaks frequently about the devil, and last year was seen placing his hands on the head of a man purportedly possessed by four demons in what exorcists said was a prayer of liberation from Satan.

All hope is lost, kids. The devil is coming for you -- well, unless you send 20 Cheerios box-tops to the Int'l Association of Exorcists. (Whatever you do, don't fold them!) If you get those holy box-tops to the IAE in time, your eternal soul will be saved. Hallelujah!

It's hard for me to understand how anyone can believe in gods, but it's even harder to grasp people's belief in demons and devils and witches and warlocks and spells and incantations and other completely imaginary dreck.

The pope's a nut. That's the bottom line. Catholics should run for the hills.

How to roll your R's like an Italian

This just hit me last night. As an Italian guy with an Irish name, I know how to roll my R's. For people like me, it's hard to understand why anyone finds this difficult. I've tried and tried to help people roll their R's, but to no avail.

However, last night something occurred to me. I was watching a baseball game and the announcer said "Wow, he's strong!" My mind kicked into Italian mode and I said out loud: "Strong like bull!" It's just something you hear if you grow up in an Italian household. And of course, I rolled the R in "strong" and pronounced "bull" as bool.

And then I spelled the thing phonetically in my mind and came up with this:

"Stdrong like bool."

I think if people pronounced strong as "stdrong", they would magically be rolling an R just like an Italian! I'm not 100% sure this works, but try it. Just go from the t to the d in as natural a way as you can -- and you're doin' it!

That's how to roll your R's. Now, study what you've done. Note the movement of your tongue as it travels from the t to the d. That's how to make the rolling R sound. Now you can do it anytime you want.

You're welcome. So give me some feedback. Did this work for you?

Hobby Lobby editorial at the NYT

Here's an excerpt. Or better yet, read the whole thing.

Mr. Alito’s ruling and a concurrence by Justice Anthony Kennedy portray the decision as a narrow one without broader application, like denying vaccine coverage or job discrimination. But that is not reassuring coming from justices who missed the point that denying women access to full health benefits is discrimination.