But yesterday when I turned my lava lamps on, I had a horrifying realization. They need incandescent bulbs to work -- and no one sells them anymore! Horrors. What will happen to the Hippie Code?! And to hippies themselves?! I can't imagine a more dire situation. I really can't.
I'm going to write a letter to congress, alerting them to the situation. Given the importance of finding a solution, I predict there will be a bipartisan effort -- a veritable tsunami of cooperation -- thrown at this problem. I mean, imagine a world without lava lamps. You can't, right? I can't either. Jeebus! What a terrible situation.