All-male Vatican says "Jesus' wife" papyrus is fake

While scholars suspect the bit of papyrus is a fake, the Vatican has no doubts at all:

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) — An ancient papyrus fragment which a Harvard scholar says contains the first recorded mention that Jesus may have had a wife is a fake, the Vatican said on Friday.  
(snip)
Christian tradition has long held that Jesus was not married and the Catholic Church, by far the largest in Christendom, says women cannot become priests because Christ chose only men as his apostles. 

So the experts suspect a fake but the Vatican is convinced it's a fake. One wonders if all-male infallibility entered into this assessment. It must be faaabulous to be able to speak unassailable truth any time you want to. This sort of thing comes in handy when your whole, dilapidated, men-only, rapist-assisting establishment is challenged...by talk of Jesus respecting a woman and alluding to her as a disciple. That is abhorrent! Women are mere chattel, unfit for anything but reproducing. The papyrus must be the work of Satan!

The Gospel of Jesus' Wife, Edna

Okay, I made up the "Edna" part. But according to HuffPo (so you really can't believe it), they've found a bit of papyrus from Jesus' day. And on the fragment, as clear as day, Jesus refers to his "wife". Appropriately, they're calling this "The Gospel of Jesus' Wife".

Isn't this a hoot? The pope must be apoplectic. First his cute butler turns on him, and now this. What's a pope to do? This is the extra-special fun part:

The idea that Jesus was unmarried and chaste is largely accepted by Christian denominations and forms the backbone of the practice of celibacy among Roman Catholic priests.

At the Vatican, I imagine they're hearing the immortal, "Dum Te Dum-Dum". Which either means they need an antacid fast, or their whole Jesus story is about to crash to Earth. Seriously: fun times at the Vatican. I wish I could listen in.

Update: I see it's at the NY Times, too. Welcome, Edna!