Monday, March 28, 2011

Figuring out my life

When you're high for most of your life, you really have no clue what happened to you during all those years. The past is a blur. I don't know people that I know; I don't remember things that I did. I don't remember much of anything. So when I was in my 40s, I decided to map out the terrain by writing my life story. This wasn't easy but I had to clear away the blur. It was really irritating me.

What I did was take random memories and then try to line them up in time. Writing it on a computer really helped because I could write several memories down and then jiggle their order until they seemed to be in the right place. Little by little, I added more memories until I filled the years out. And I used real-life events (like Woodstock, or when a movie came out) to nail the memories to dates.

In the end, I got my life story down on paper -- though to this day, I still run into memories that make no sense and which I can't place in time. It was rewarding to finally sit down and read the finished thing. Afterward, I almost cheered -- "So that's what I did!" It was strange too, almost like reading about someone else. Still, I assume this must be the record of my life, as well as it can be reconstructed, anyway.

I've been thinking of serializing some of it here -- stuff like a wild trip cross-country with other hippies in a broken-down vehicle that said, "California or Bust" on the side. Eluding the cops; getting caught by the cops. Fun stories that bring the hippie days back to life. Anyway, if I can't come up with an idea for a post sometime (an eventuality that seems highly unlikely) I may put some of it up here. It won't be boring, I promise. I've had a mighty strange life.