Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It's good to have dirt on people

Sometimes people tell you things that can be useful later on, when they act up. For instance, I was washing dishes in my kitchen recently while a friend visited. When I walked away from the sink to clean a counter or two with a sponge -- and didn't shut off the water -- she said, "You're wasting water! That harms the environment, you know."

I slipped instantly into my best Bea Arthur voice and said, "You throw TVs down canyons."

She said, "Oh. Yeah." And that was that. As I say, it's good to have dirt on people.

I love hauling out my Bea Arthur voice, even without ammunition. Just the other day in a drug store, I asked a woman behind the counter for a decongestant, and she said, "Without drowsiness?"

I slipped into my best Bea and replied, "No. With."

Hard to say which was more fun but I lean toward throwing TVs down canyons. Got any of these? Had a snappy rejoinder for someone? Do tell.