The last cardinal who will participate in the conclave to elect the next pope arrived in Rome on Thursday, meaning a date can now be set for the election.
The fun
is about to begin! I tell you, I'm all fired up. A new popey guy! What
fun it'll be to play with him, no matter who he turns out to be.
Speaking of the election, who do you think they'll choose? Here are my
thoughts.
First
off, I doubt they'll pick me as the new pope. For a while, I thought
there was an outside chance. But no. I've accepted this. Moving on to
other possible candidates, I think the cardinals' childish understanding
of sexuality, coupled with the church's monstrous history of preying
upon children, will drive them to choose the worst possible candidate.
Yup,
I'm talkin' Turkson. A gay-hating, totally straight African pope who's
ready to trounce on nuns and other feminine and feminine-like atrocities
such as gay people -- would appeal to these cardinals, all of whom were
appointed by Ratzinger based on their thick-headedness.
Or
they could go the Disney route and pick Timmy Dolan. I know people are
poo-pooing this notion but I think Timmy's got a good chance. After all,
he honcho'd the church's pogrom against gays in the US. And he seems to
be trying, of late, to become the Mr. Rogers of cardinals. I mean, have
you heard the stuff he's said lately? He sounds like Tinkerbell on PCP.
Anyway,
those are my two faves for the job of Popey Guy of Planet Earth. What
do you think? Got any hot candidates? I'm not familiar with all the
cardinals (and neither are they), so there could be another gem in the
bunch. But however it goes, we are in for some newfangled fun! Hooray
for the (next) popey guy!
