Saturday, April 14, 2012

The training of a young baseball player

There are three strenuous early training programs that every young baseball player must make his way through. This is where the lads learn the skills of the trade and become (drum roll) Major League Baseball players.

In order of importance, these programs are:

1. Spitting School
2. Eating Sunflower Seeds School
3. Blowing Your Nose Without a Handkerchief School

If a rookie fails to be certified in any one of these areas he is dismissed forever from Major League Baseball.

No one reports on this stuff, so I have to.