Wednesday, June 19, 2013

But...but...but...how will people get cured?

Note: re-posted to include link. But I couldn't find the original and had to use (shudder) a Fox link. Sorry. 
LOURDES, France — Heavy floods in southwest France have forced the closure of the Catholic pilgrimage site in Lourdes and the evacuation of pilgrims from nearby hotels. 


Throughout Tuesday, masses were gradually cancelled. One by one, entrances to the sanctuary were cordoned off. The live video feed of the grotto went down. Then the electricity was cut off, and then phones. 

"A vision of the apocalypse in the Sainte Bernadette Church, where the big movable partition is threatening to fall. The water has risen above the stairs of the choir," read one announcement. 
Oh, the humanity! How will people be cured, how will their legs know to grow back, how will their vision return if they're blocked from this holy site? Those poor pilgrims! And the poor Virgin Mary! Without a way to let the miraculous curing rays out of her hands, she'll experience a backup -- and that can be dangerous to a supernatural being!

Oh, the humanity! Oh, the supernatural beings! Oh, drat!