Saturday, June 22, 2013

Mixed-sex marriage an affront to dog

Women are full of salad.
Men are full of beef.
And that is the root of the problem.

You can't mix salad and beef, beef and salad. It goes against dog's plan for humanity. It's just wrong.

This is why an immediate ban must be placed on mixed-sex marriages. Dog never intended that we engage in such a sinful practice. He thought surely we'd know not to mix salad and beef.

Alas, people have strayed from dog's message. They've lost their way in this age of celebrities and drones and high fructose corn syrup. The message is this: Come home to dog. You know dog will always love you, completely and unconditionally -- even if you're a complete boob. So don't piss him off by marrying someone of the opposite gender.

It's just sick, and you know it. Arf!